We the people of the United States have been incessantly bombarded with propaganda.
Produced at a speed not seen since the release of “Speed” (starring Keanu Reeves), 2024 election content feels inescapable. No matter where our country turns, we are haunted by four foreboding letters: V. O. T. E. It may seem that you, average American citizen, have no choice but to obey this command — to give up all hope, to vote.
But there is an alternative. You can stand up to Big Politics and take back what’s yours: The right to remain silent.
Think about it long and hard. There is nothing more publicly humiliating than playing an active role in democracy. Those pathetic, self-righteous schmucks at the polling tations might as well scream, “I touch myself to Uncle Sam!” You certainly do not want to be one of them. Do you?
Your opinion — yours especially — does not matter. It is a waste of all four dimensions of the space-time continuum. America would be a better place without you shoving your perverted opinion down its throat. I mean, yikes.
Remember, pregnant women are not the only ones who get to choose. It is your vote, and it is your choice. Abort, I say!
So, this election, let freedom ring. Silently, that is.
