If you’re a froshmore still figuring out who you want to be in college, here’s a comprehensive guide on how to be a Kool Kid! Because let’s be honest, you probably weren’t one in high school.
- Join the top house in Greek life. Or don’t. Either way, make it everyone’s problem.
- Join a club sport you were mediocre at in high school – bonus points if that team bullied you! Act like it’s the Olympics.
- Treat everything like a networking event. Everyone is now your best friend. Simultaneously, be exceedingly cliquey. You are the only normal person ever.
- Have at least one club that you’re a part of, but don’t make it your personality. It’s cool to be passionate and involved. Don’t be a bum.
- The going-out uniform is as follows: jean skirt and knee-high boots for women, beer-soaked shirt and Lululemon shorts for men. If there is a theme, make sure you go all-out. If it’s something esoteric, tap into the Party Girl Hive Mind so you can figure out what all your classmates will be wearing (I’m looking at you, DTD Mykonos).
- For girls and gays, blacking out is fine. Just don’t puke indoors. Don’t worry, your friends will (probably) be there for you when you haven’t learned your lesson.
- Have a diverse music taste— you should listen to everything but have a strong affinity for EDM and reggaeton.
- Get behind the DJ booth or on an elevated surface at every party. That’s where Kool Kids go. If you’re a guy, still do this – revel in your own douchery.
- Judge everyone for doing drugs while simultaneously doing the same drugs. It’s only cool when you do it.
- Never act as intoxicated as you really are, that’s déclassé. Talk about how messed up you were the next day.
Remember, you’re cool at TUFTS. Stay humble, stay nonchalant, stay cool.
