As the Rainbow House at Tufts has expanded, the number of applications has skyrocketed. Thus, the “Q’munity” house patrons announced they will soon be implementing a new “prove it” policy in order to be considered for a spot in the home.
Recently, it has become abundantly clear to many in the house that straight people are just applying to benefit from the house’s wonderful amenities. One student stated, “I don’t give a shit if you wear Docs and a thrifted multicolored sweater, it’s not just anybody’s space”. Whilst shivering in my fully thrifted outfit, I moved on to sweeter interviewees.
Another member of the house recounted a time when she overheard a male resident explain why it never occurred to him to wash his ass crack in the shower.
It’s safe to say that this change was welcomed by most of the residents, but now outsiders must face the challenge that comes along with this new policy. Many queer students now worry that they will not measure up to the standard being set, which is a series of questions on queer culture, literature, and sex. Besides the fact that many of these students haven’t seen the least bit of action in their lives, the in-depth culture questions can be a little daunting as well.
One lesbian argued, “I would prefer if this was a good ol’ sex competition, ‘cause then at least I could beat those nerd virgins in ‘dining at the Y’. Now I’m not gonna get a spot ‘cause I can’t name three pieces of lesbian literature or whatever the fuck.”
On top of literature naming, the students can also be judged on their ability to name queer historical figures, engaging in tumblr sexuality discourse, how well they know the queens from the last 16 seasons of Drag Race, and many more. Students who get a spot in the house are also required to enroll in WGS0069-Gay Sex Class, because, “If we are going to be fucking and sucking, these nerds better at least know how to do it right,” said one junior resident of the house.