Jambo! Psst, that means ‘hello’ in Swahili. I’m here as your humble safari guide to take you on a journey into Tufts’ newest, most exotic study abroad program to my glorious motherland, Africa! You might sigh and think ‘this is gonna be nothing like Tufts in Talloires…,’ but Africa is a beautiful new frontier — a lush country with countless untapped resources. Join me for this comprehensive guide to the cultural gem that is my country, and perhaps you can seal your semester plans in time to witness the filming of the next Black Panther!
The landscape has much to offer — there’s truly nothing like it. Although when folks ask, I’d have to say Africa is an awful lot like Texas! It’s 99% lush dust and is full to the brim with both beautiful dark-skinned folk and sunburned pink-skinned folk with hypertension. Some of our most breathtaking landmarks include the Sahara desert, the Namib desert, and the birthplace of Barack Obama.
This wouldn’t be a proper tour without a good look at our famous wildlife. In Africa’s lovely plains, we have any type of wild cat you can imagine (except Troy Bolton, ha ha!), any type of wild dog you can imagine, and any type of endangered animal you can imagine! Oh, and elephants; I heard you guys go absolutely nuts for those. I’ll never understand it. I got “trunked” once and it’s completely ruined them for me. I’ll spare you the details, though…
No matter your major, there is always something to do here in Africa — We have a wide variety of industries that support just about any ambition. Business students can be found in the mines of The Congo, one of Africa’s many counties, learning for the first time how to abuse the progeny of minority groups for the profit of a major foreign country. Real hands on, right? The students love being able to see the core elements of their phone being unearthed in front of them, and don’t worry, the blood is just part of the process. Now, let’s view the historic practices explored by political science students in Africa’s capital. No one throws a proper military coup like the African government! The United States can position students right into the gears of a working democracy. No more need to rely on clandestine agents! It’s a beautifully efficient process.
But don’t blink. You might just miss Tufts’ Business students advancing their philanthropic careers by constructing wells for impoverished villages. Hold on, that might actually just be the humanities majors. English students have discovered their passion for social justice through hours spent writing apology letters for Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness to Africans. Though their apologies now mean very little after they were caught trying to get locals to say ‘Jumbo’ instead of ‘Jambo’— ah, hello to you too! Ha hah!
Well, that’s all for this tour of beautiful, beautiful, rich, rich Africa! I guess you could say you’re all experts now. We hope you’ll come visit our program soon— The sun is shining, and some soulful looking white guys even blessed our rains, too!
