Brought to you by the Tufts University Office of Residential Life & Learning
Are you a bright, young individual headed off to Tufts this fall? Worried you’ll gain the dreaded “Freshman 15” from too much DoorDash? Fear no more! At Tufts, slimming down isn’t just possible, it’s inevitable!
Introducing The Tufts Trim-Down Plan – No Diet Pills, No Dumbbells, Just a Hill!
Yes, my friends, you read that right! Thanks to Tufts’ uniquely elevated campus design, you can shed pounds the natural way simply by walking to class. A 15-minute uphill march to every lecture! No elevators, just wholesome, all-American hill climbing! You’ll be swimming in last season’s shorts and sending home for a smaller size before midterms hit. It’s like having a personal trainer but if they charged you $96,078 a year and never gave you any personal training.
Tufts: where the hills are high, the waistlines are shrinking, and the degrees come with toned calves included. Ask your advisor about the Tufts Trim-Down Plan™ today! No contracts. No calorie counting. Just going to class.
Results of the Tufts Trim-Down Plan™ may vary. Side effects include: improved cardiovascular endurance, chronic leg soreness, and resentment of any school built on flat ground (Hahvahd).
