Welcome, young penis padawan! Your training begins today. I will help you – I am the Penis Jedi. I was born of the Penile people on the Planet Pussy Pounder of the planetary system Shlong 69.
It takes much to be a Penis Jedi. Are you ready, young padawan? The penile force is strong within you; I can feel it.
As your first trial, you must climb Mount Manhood and circumcise the Beef Whistle Beast who claims the peak as his domain. Bring me his foreskin – it is strong with the Penile Force (as you are too, you are bursting with penile force). You shall drape his mighty foreskin over your bare shoulders and wear it as your Penis Jedi cape.
Your second trial is to be even greater! While maintaining an impressive erection (your noble Jedi staff), you must spurt forth with urine of the finest Jedi quality. Burst forth! Not with slick white, but with royal yellow. Can you bear it, my young penis padawan?
Ah, but my young penis padawan, over not yet it is.
Finally shall you suffer through the most arduous segment of your Penis Jedi training. You must dig deep into your inner being and absolve yourself of mind & heart. You must think only with your penis. You are but a dick vessel, an appendage meant to help stimulate the flow of the penile force. With your hands, and plenty of lotion.
Penis travels shall you join – save the galaxy together we will. Prepare thy penis!
