Graphic by Gabriel Currie
This week, Universal Studios announced the cast for Ramble On, the forthcoming Led Zeppelin biopic. Ramble On will be the directorial debut of Archibald Bouvier, an alumnus of Tufts’ own Film and Media Studies program. The film stars Jeremy Allen White as frontman Robert Plant, Fred Armisen as legendary drummer John Bonham, Michael Cera as bassist John Paul Jones, and perhaps most notably, 89-year-old disgraced filmmaker and comedian Woody Allen as guitar god Jimmy Page. Director Bouvier stated the cast is “everything I could have dreamed of,” and is eager to take risks to push the boundaries of mainstream filmmaking.
Artistic liberties aside, it goes without saying that there are many potential issues with this cast. How does working with Woody Allen, for example, reflect on the cast and production team? At this, Bouvier just shrugged. “I wouldn’t have cast Woody if I wasn’t familiar with his previous experience and expertise. In terms of casting, I look for authenticity. iI anyone can emulate that sick, twisted side of Jimmy Page, my money’s on Woody,” he said, alluding to Allen and Page’s common history of romancing significantly younger women and girls. “Think of it like method acting. It’s not like he’s Roman Polanski, for God’s sake – though I’m sure Roman could’ve pulled it off, too.”
When we spoke, Allen seemed unperturbed by the controversies surrounding his role. “Honestly, I didn’t even consider that when I accepted the role,” he said, referring to his long-standing allegations of sexual misconduct and abuse. “Honestly, I was just thinking about how it must feel to be lusted after by thousands of beautiful young girls, you know? It’s entirely foreign to me, that feeling. And people say I’m not up to the challenge… I can go out of my comfort zone, contrary to popular belief.”
Even disregarding Allen’s reputation, it seems Ramble On’s incredibly unfiltered portrayal of Led Zeppelin’s hedonism will ruffle many feathers of today’s delicate, celibate youngsters. Some critics worry that Allen, on the basis of character and age, is a poor choice to play a 20-something year old Jimmy Page, claiming Allen’s cosmopolitan loser-schmuck persona is incompatible with that of a coked-up, wallflower rockstar. One Bluesky user bemoaned, “I can excuse the glorification of drug use and pedophilia for the sake of cinema and artistic integrity, but I draw the line at Woody Allen pretending to be a guitarist. Why can’t they just find a real musician?”
When asked about the ever-present threat of the woke mob, Allen just sighed. “Well, cancel culture is dead, clearly. I’m still making movies, and Jimmy Page is still dating lovely ladies 40 years his junior. So what’s the problem?”
