by xx ebony dark’ness dementia raven way xx
authurz n0te: D0 N0T READ IF U R A PREP!!!!! NO PRWEPS ALLOWEDD!!!!
ok now that all the preps r gone, here’s how 2 b a REAL emo [NOT a POSER!!]
#1 if u r in it 2 get da boyz U R OUT OF LUCK & a FAKER!! u can only b an emo if ur SOUL is DEAD & u can obnly have a dead soul if u r BORN THAT WAY. Emo iz a WAY OF LIFE u do not CHOOSE TO B EMO!!
# 2: emo iz abot da MUSIC. if u do not like emo music, U R NOT AN EMO. if u do not believe in da way of GEEZUS or dat he is in luv w/ FRNK: U DO NOT BELONG HERE!!! #frerard
#3 no homobophoves obvs. homophobua is gay
#4: U must dedicate ur life 2 da way of da emos xx dis means u must spend AT LEAST 6 hrs/day on tumblr OR LIVEJHOURNAL (da world does not exist after 2005. It iz forever 2005. although in dis hypothetical wurld The Black Parade came out b4 2005. & also A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out. bcuz those r da BIBLE. but 4 SATAN. HAIL SATAN 666. B ut itz still 2005).
#4.5 & also ur tumblr blog MUST BE ABOUT INVESTIGATING THE TRUTH BEHIND NORTHERN DOWNPOUR. that sun/moon shit. they were in love & it was a dark love like jack skellington & sans undertale in my fanfic. they sound like an evil xylophone when they bone (haha get it bone xD) or like me n Draco Malfoy IN REAL LIFE bcuz I GO TO HOGWORTS. i am in slytherin. duh. DRACO IS MY BOYFRIEND IN REAL LIFE I AM NOT LYING STOP SAYINFG I AM LYING I AM NOT A LIAR EMOS DONT LIE dats also part of da rules no lying 4 sure or i will post u on r/everyoneclapped
#5 remember dat suicide is not the answer. their is a light at the end of the tunnel (i promise). & that light is MCR5.
#666 every night u must read da really creepy and 100% real poetry pet3e wentz wrote 2 mikey way during the Summer of Like. if u do not know what da summer of like iz U DID NOT FIGHT IN DA EMO WARS NO STOLEN VAL0R
#7 if ur converse dont have penbtagrams doodled on them w/ sharpie what r u even doing???
#8: amy lee is da most beautiful woman in da wurld (if u do not know who she is r u living under a rock?? or maybe ur a PREP) & i look just like her except i am also a vampire & drink blood wit my FANGZ & i drink draco’s blood & he thinks itz SEXY & also i have purple streaks in my hair & also my hair is red like blood sometimez bvcuz i spray paint it wit spray paint i stole 4 CRIME REASUNS bcuz EMO IZ ABOUT FUCK DA MAN & da man wanted me 2 pay $7.99 4 spray paint at da home depot & also wouldnt let me buy it bcuz i am “not old enough” & i told him dat my SOUL is IMMORTAL bcus i am A REAL VAMPIRE
#9 als0 hayeley williams iz pretty hot too
10: most importantly: u must be ur self. modern culture is a hegemonic echochamber, the dissection of interest into identity into commodifiable aesthetic is a capitalist tool engineered to get you to spend money on corporations so they can amass enough to buy their way out of taxes and human rights violation lawsuits, fight against it. Individuality is the spice of life, do ur own thing, listen to whatever goddamn music u want BCUZ CRINGE IS DEAD AND I KILLED IT WITH THE KEYBLADE FROM KINGDOM HEARTS (sora is emo cuz hair and Goofy is honorary emo cause wake me up meme). wearing black or fishnet tights as a shirt or a sexy fall out boy branded corset or safety pins as earrings or doc martens with rainbow laces or black box dye heat straightened hair or snakebite piercings or getting a trampstamp tattoo of jeff mangum (JUST KIDDING THAT’S INDIE SLEAZE NOT EMO UR FAKE) doesn’t make u any more or less emo dan any1 else. (except the tat2 cuz neutral milk hotel IS NOT emo). if any1 (aside from me, ebony d’arkness dementia raven way, bcuz i am da ultimate authority on these thingz obvs) tries 2 tell u who ore what u are TELL THEM 2 FUCK OFF & SK8BOARD AWAY #ollyonthehaterz
