Graphic by Orya Shusterman-Bachi
Let’s be honest with ourselves – The last couple crimson waves of feminism have been messy for us females.
In order to challenge the patriarchal design of the human race, women have thrust themselves out of the home and into the office. Women have forced one another to try to make a place for themselves where they just don’t look that great. Take a peek through those blinders and see for yourself — The fairer sex has never looked less fair! In other words, many women have been doing a burlesque of masculinity – and unfortunately, it’s not the sexy kind of burlesque.
A question emerges: If a woman’s place is not the kitchen, then where does she belong?
The answer is, naturally, the kitchen – both physically and metaphorically speaking. A woman is the shiny, empty crock-pot of her own destiny. And her destiny is to be truly, divinely herself – to be whole as a hole.
Real, subversive feminism means deriving empowerment from the pure feminine, and embracing all that comes with the passive objectification of the self. In our modern age, it means fighting back by not fighting back when society’s big penile push comes to shove. Take the example of our brave foremothers, Sigmund Freud and the anti-suffragettes.
Getting down on your knees Nancy Reagan-style and submitting to the patriarchy – under your own terms, of course — is truly a radical decision for a woman to make.
“A woman making a choice is an inherently feminist act, no matter how you spin it,” said Jeremy, a Pornhub Premium member. “But embracing your, uh, you know, feminine sexuality… Now that’s empowering.”
Jeremy is right! To submit to the pure feminine is to be freed from the shackles of the patriarchy, and it doesn’t get more feminist than that.
It’s a man’s world, and women should just live under it. Missionary-style.
