Graphic by Gabriel Currie
“Where do babies come from?”
Yes, that’s the question that has had you scratching your head for years. It’s a real mystery to you, isn’t it?
Well, you’re old enough to know the truth, so I’ll give it to you straight.
This was the very question that five-year-old Margaret Franklin posed to me in the library of my Catholic middle school. Her question had sprung from an informational horse book I was reading aloud to her – as such a question so often does. The informational horse book had a photo of a sumptuous mare being artificially inseminated – as such a book so often does. Margaret’s sticky little finger traced the tube’s path into the equine vagina, and she looked up at me expectantly.
“Ah, young Margaret,” I said, closing the book with a sigh. “How do I put this in words you will understand…”
Then, the answer came to me, not unlike how the angel Gabriel came to the Virgin Mary.
I would give it to this child straight.
I smiled, and smoothed the front of my uniform kilt. “When a man and a woman love each other very much… They bring in a third. And that’s God. Let’s just call it a ménage à trois. It’s like how God is in three persons. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”
Margaret nodded thoughtfully.
“Now, what God the Father does,” I continued, “Is He… He comes inside of a woman and he fills her with the Holy Spirit. You know how Jesus comes inside the church during mass, Margaret? That’s because Jesus is the groom and the Church is the bride… And it’s the same thing with your mother. If she prays really hard, that Holy Spirit the Father put inside her will turn into a baby. And you see, young Margaret, that’s why there’s no such thing as an unplanned pregnancy. A woman is always asking for it.” I tapped my temple knowingly.
“That’s how little Charlie got in my Mommy’s tummy?” Margaret said. I saw the light of “Just God and the Holy Spirit?”
“Yes, Margaret,” I said. “And it’s the same Holy Spirit that went inside that horse.”
