Graphic by Mary-Amma Blankson
Every day, your parents use this special thing called MONEY to buy your favorite things. Your favorite stuffed animal, Mumu the bear, costs money! The Lunchables you love so much also cost money! Nowadays, prices are skyrocketing, which means your parents can’t keep buying your favorite things. To keep on getting these cherished items, you need to start bringing home the big bucks. You’re not a baby anymore, you’ve been on this earth for a whole 6 and a half years. Luckily, MICKEY’S SCHOOL OF FUN is dedicated to helping you learn the skills you need to get rich quick.
In order for us to teach you these special skills, you need to enroll in MICKEY’S SCHOOL OF FUN! To do this, go find your mommy’s wallet and pull out the cool, shiny, rectangular card with a bunch of numbers on it. Then get on the computer, look up mickeyisfulloffun.org/enroll, and click on the big blue button that says ENROLL. Knowledge always comes at a cost, of course. Use the fancy card you took from your mommy to pay the $95 per month—that’s less money per month than all your favorite streaming platforms combined! Next, answer the questions! For the first question, you will need to carefully type in the numbers you see on the card. Question 2 requires you to ask your Mommy what the name of her first pet was, and to answer question 3 you’ll have to ask your Mommy what Gam-Gam’s last name was before she married PeePaw. Lastly, before pressing the PAY button, find the box that says PROMO CODE, and enter QU1CKC4SH; this will make you a member of the super–deluxe–ultra–secret MICKEY FUN CLUB (for only $100 more)! Finally, press PAY, and…congratulations! You have officially joined MICKEY’S SCHOOL OF FUN and the super–deluxe–ultra–secret MICKEY’S FUN CLUB! This means that you are now ready to become a MILLIONAIRE by the end of the month!
However, there is one more mega–super–secret. If you are able to recruit 25 other kids at school to sign up for MICKEY’S SCHOOL OF FUN AND they use the special promo code QU1CKC4SH, you will be given the code to enter the mega–super–secret MICKEY’S CLUBHOUSE. This clubhouse will be full of millionaires, billionaires, and other economic weapons who will share even more tips and tricks so YOU TOO can become a millionaire very, very soon.
Remember: Pay the $95 monthly tuition, enter the promo code, and get 25 other kids to sign up using QU1CKC4SH. If you do all of those steps, you will be on track to become the richest kid on the playground and the youngest flexer in the world.
