Graphic by Orya Shusterman-Bachi
“From now on, we play Four Square,” little Donnie cried out to everyone gathered for recess. “I will be the Four. It will be the best game of Four Square ever played. No one else will have fun like we will. I will be the King and I will choose the best minigames, because Naptime Joey and Brown Pants Barry always chose games nobody liked.”
No one ever knew what Donnie was talking about, even though he was always talking. The only thing he didn’t like talking about was Jeffrey. Jeffrey was his old best friend– they used to do everything together. They used to wait outside the girl’s bathroom and offer girls rides to Jeffrey’s house. Jeffrey even taught Donnie how to blow his hubba, Bubba. The gum. But ever since Jeffrey got expelled, Donnie hasn’t wanted to talk about him at all.
After finishing his Filet O’Fish for lunch, Donnie started Four Square. He always made sure he was the King. He made sure only his friends got to be in the Three Square and Two Square, but if any of them hit the ball at his square, he had everyone target them until they got out.
“I’m the King now and everyone must be loyal,” Donnie yelled. “Xi in Ms. Hammond’s class has loyal friends. Everyone tells me to make friends, smart people too. Smart people have friends like Xi. I want friends like smart guy Xi.” Donnie did a lot of comparing himself to his classmates Xi, Jong-Un, and Vladimir.
The other day, Donnie’s friends stood in front of the lunchline to make sure no one got any lunch. Donnie didn’t like anyone who didn’t listen to him, especially the new kids.
“They’re stealing our snacks and taking our spots in line,” Donnie said, “I say ‘1, 2, 3, save some for me’ and they tell me they need more because they don’t have a water bottle. I tell them that’s too bad because they aren’t from our school so they should go back to their school to get a water bottle. That’s what I tell them.”
Donnie has started his latest plan for making Four Square more “fun:” demolishing the court.
“I love the Four Square court. But it’s not awesome enough. I’m going to pack the court– with beautiful, gold spray paint. It’ll be great. I’m an architect. A really good architect. And I’m not talking about fancier squares… We’re tearing down the playground. Nobody liked it anyway. My new game will be better. It’s going to be a big, beautiful game.”
