Hey, kids. Uncle Stratton here to teach you about the failings of our economic system. Let’s sit criss-cross applesauce and explore America’s wage gap through the lens of the three little pigs, who each face dramatically different economic realities based on the kind of work they have chosen.
The oldest pig pursued a career in business, rising through the ranks to become the CEO of Pork Insurance Group (P.I.G.). His corporate job and paycheck prompted him to leave the apartment and head to the big city, where high quality building materials like brick were plentiful. The more procedures his company refused to cover, the grander his brick mansion became. P.I.G. ultimately merged with all nearby companies, finally becoming the only health insurer in the area.
The middle pig entered the medical field. Unfortunately, his dreams of serving others were squashed. His hands were tied by the conflict of interest with his brother’s insurance company! Instead he decided to fill his void with materialism. He considered redoing his wooden house with some sturdier material, but unfortunately this was out of his budget. Eventually, the lack of job satisfaction and sense of entrapment drove the middle pig to adultery. The only glimmer of excitement in his life was for his promiscuous acts with younger, prettier sows.
The youngest pig’s love for building drew him to the world of construction. Despite the back-breaking labor, his meager salary forced him to relocate to the impoverished countryside where a shed of straw was all he could afford. He became depressed. Big healthcare companies told him that eating a healthy, balanced diet could improve his mood, but the pennies in his pocket were never enough for high-quality produce. Hopeless, the little pig spiraled and relied on cheap drugs and alcohol to make it through the day. He considered therapy, but P.I.G.’s most affordable plan was so expensive that he couldn’t cover the copay for a single session.
Then came the big bad wolf. The wolf huffed and puffed, and blew the little pig’s house down. Down went the middle pig’s wooden house. But who was immune from his wrath? The rich, oldest pig whose company had undone his brothers’ physical and mental well-being. When they came knocking on his door requesting sanctuary, he sneered and accused them of begging for handouts. But a journalist was scheduled to come by later to conduct an interview, and so he let his brothers in after he recognized that doing so would be a tremendous boost to his public image. And they all lived happily ever after.
