Graphic by Anna Amann
Bushwick, NY: In the evening of January 1st at a local McDonalds, a currently unidentified man only known under the Soundcloud alias of XxLittleBoyonTheBeat was crushed to death by an abnormally large fetus. In the days leading up to his death, his virtually nonexistent music career slowly began to gain traction on TikTok after a video was posted of him “putting the fries in the bag,” soundtracked to one of his songs. Following an investigation into the untimely death, local authorities concluded that while trapped in the room, his tracks began to gain streams exponentially, accelerating the growth of the fetus.
Being oddly reminiscent of the thought experiment to kill or be killed by a giant fetus in a room, many people are speculating about his untimely demise. His death comes as a shock to his closest family and followers, as his last Instagram post indicated that he was “makin moves in silence 💯🔥,” and that there were “big thingz coming soon.”
Although his track amassed more than 10 million listens, he has more notably been adopted by the pro-life community, celebrated as their prodigal son. In the wake of his passing, multiple individuals from several right-wing communities have gathered outside the McDonalds to celebrate the rapper and his “sticking it to the liberal agenda.”
According to an attendee of the vigil, “His beats were actually straight ass but what he did for the pro-life community will never be forgotten.”
Another remarked that the fries he served him were “Kind of cold, but he died for that fetus for real.”
When asked about the lyrics in his songs, many refused to comment. On one of his more “popular” tracks, XxLittleBoyonTheBeat references how much he loves “kissing up on his homies.” When asking a younger audience member, he replied, “At first I was confused, but then I realized I needed to think of the lyrics more so as a metaphor for Christ. I don’t really rock with that gay stuff, but if it’s between me and Jesus it’s chill.”
His death leads many to wonder: Were the extra ears worth it? Was XxLittleBoyonTheBeat’s aim to rack up streams or to become a saint for the pro-life agenda? The only clue we have is a message we recovered, sent from his refurbished iPhone 5 to his mother only moments before his death, reading: “gonna move out of the basement soon / blowing up big time on everyones soul.”
