Kathleen Davidson, a 22-year-old neurodivergent engineer recently onboarded at Palantir, was enthused to present her first invention to her peers for feedback. This device, of negligible cost to manufacture, converts seawater and chemical runoff into potable water with no power source but carbon dioxide and nuclear waste. A company intranet chat room at Palantir leaked to The Zamboni shared coworkers’ reaction to Davidson’s invention. Below is a selected excerpt.
M4lthusR0x: Lmaooo bro D’s proposal today
81nchesNTh1ck: IKRRR gay ass machine
1nvisibl3H4nd: like go back to kindergarten broski let the big dogs handle this
M4lthusR0x: clearly he’s new here “clean water” LOLOL invent something that explodes or tracks civilians like a real engineer
81nchesNTh1ck: we still on for golf this weekend?
KDavidson: you guys know this is an open room right?
When asked for a statement, Palantir’s PR division explained that “Davidson’s invention was an innocent mistake that went against our core values: profit, ”
Despite the controversy, Davidson was promoted to Lead Oversight Engineer for her outstanding second attempt at invention. Her latest product, a device Palantir claims can reduce all cats and dogs in a 3-mile radius of its activation to a fine powder, and cause a 16-hour erection for the user, is currently undergoing a successful soft launch in Miami-Dade County.
