Graphic by Allison Kinzer
MEDFORD, MA—After years of speculation, new evidence has surfaced confirming what many have long suspected: Every single student at Tufts University was, at some point, an avid fan of the children’s series Warrior Cats.
The revelation comes after an anonymous freshman whistleblower—codenamed “Mistfall”— leaked evidence which included crumpled middle school sketchbook pages, forgotten Instagram accounts for roleplaying, embarrassing DeviantArt posts, and one particularly damning AO3 search. The findings indicate that Tufts — long considered an elite institution of higher learning — has students who are not just academically gifted, but also highly trained in the art of dramatic cat-based political intrigue.
Handwriting analysis has linked multiple Tufts students to an infamous Warrior Cats OC Creation Forum, where, between 2012 and 2017, thousands of now-adults painstakingly created intricate, overpowered cats with fur colors not found in nature and tragic backstories longer than a Proctor exam.
University officials have neither confirmed nor denied allegations that TUSC elections are actually determined via a battle in an undisclosed location in the Fells. Additionally, J.T. Duck, dean of admissions, has refused to comment on whether admission decisions take into account a candidate’s ability to craft an emotionally devastating character backstory as one of the supplementals.
Public Reactions
“I came to Tufts to study biomedical engineering,” confessed junior Emily “Sunstorm” Carter. “But last week, I walked into Tisch Library, and someone whispered ‘May StarClan light your path’ as I walked by. Suddenly… I was back. Back in the woods behind the playground, debating whether my character’s mate should be killed by a badger or a rogue. It’s like it never really left me. I knew, deep down, that I was among my own.”
Senior Jake “Stormfang” Martinez admitted that he still instinctively refers to groups of friends as his ‘clanmates’ and occasionally describes his apartment as his ‘nest in the warriors’ den.’ “I tried to forget, but you never really leave the forest behind.”
“My OC, Stormfang, was legendary in my elementary school,” he said, staring wistfully at the sunset over President’s Lawn. “Deputy of ThunderClan. A noble warrior with a tragic past. His mother was murdered by foxes. His father never loved him. His destiny was foretold in a prophecy no one could understand. And now… I sit in political science lectures, pretending that part of me is dead?” He shook his head. “Stormfang would never stand for this dishonor.”
Not all students are taking the news well, however.
“I wanted to leave that part of my life behind,” whispered sophomore Sarah “Shadowwhisker” Williams. “I deleted my Wattpad. I stopped drawing cats in the margins of my homework. I swore I’d never say ‘moonhigh’ instead of ‘midnight’ again.” Her voice broke. “But last night… I caught myself chewing on feverfew instead of popping an Advil for my hangover. Instinct took over.”
Sarah’s experience is not unique. Tufts students are still unknowingly practicing the ancient art of medicine cat remedies, turning to herbs like marigold and yarrow as “natural remedies” for the frat flu.
Still, others embrace their past. “Yeah, I was a Warrior Cats kid,” said senior Alex “Ravenbreeze” Smith. “I had three OCs, a signature attack move, and an entire side plot about a forbidden romance between my WindClan character and a RiverClan deputy.” He smirked. “And what about it?”
Meanwhile, some on campus have responded to these allegations with a mix of embarrassment and pride. “Yeah, okay, I was Firestorm of ThunderClan in third grade,” said freshman Max “Firestorm” Stewart. “But that was a long time ago. I’ve changed. I just want to forget about that part of my life and move on.”
What’s Next?
As the Warrior Cats conspiracy continues to unfold, one thing is clear: The truth cannot be hidden forever. The only question that remains: Will students finally own up to their past, or will they continue to walk the two-leg path, pretending they do not hear the whisper of the wind through the trees, calling them home to Clans long forgotten?
Only time (and StarClan) will tell.
