Well, here we go again. Nancy Sherbraun, colloquially known as Naggy Nancy the Library Shusher, has once again taken it upon herself to police the hallowed halls of Tisch Library. Raising her bony little finger to her venomous lips, the sanctimonious Nancy spluttered a vile shush onto her fellow classmates. Instead of ignoring the gunshots like the rest of her peers, Nancy had taken it upon herself to put on a show.
“Hey, hey girly! Looks like someone missed the memo.” Nancy pouted at the masked figure. “I think your current activity is best suited for the Commons, chica.”
The two stood in silence.
“I’m just telling you because I wouldn’t want someone else going to a librarian . . . which is what I will have to do if you keep up this ruckus, mama.”
Nancy, hand placed on her hip like the worst kind of fascist, rolled her eyes, flipped her hair, blew a kiss at the masked figure and strutted back to her table. Oh how Naggy Nancy revels in her ignoble charade. Could she not wait patiently for her life to flash before her eyes like the rest of us? No, she couldn’t help but wag her sickly talon in everyone’s face and sing her venomous tune.
“Since that little upset, I’ve started the Librarian Confessional Program.” The bitch told me, “It really allows me to unburden myself of my library sins. I hope our masked figure makes use of our program after his little stunt.”
It is time we start regulating anti-social punks like Naggy Nancy the Library Shusher. It would be the intelligent decision. However, with the National Library Association at her back, Nancy remains untouchable. She remains free, we remain chained to fear — the fear that at any moment one of Nancy’s beady eyed, bony fingered, wet lipped shushes could shatter through our skulls.
