Tufts University is a world-class institution, a beacon of intellectual pursuit, and most importantly, a thriving marketplace for the legal extortion that is the college textbook economy. Last semester, I made the noble decision to spend $900 on textbooks I will never open, and I implore you to follow in my financially unstable footsteps. Not because it’s useful, or wise, or even remotely necessary. No. Because it is the American way.
When the Tufts Bookstore asked for $280 for a used biology textbook with a suspicious stain and no online code, I said yes. When my philosophy professor said in class, “Hard copies of our readings are optional,” I said, “No, sir, capitalism is not optional.”
Think of the bigger picture. Every overpriced textbook you buy helps keep the market system alive. Publishers can afford to add one new paragraph and call it a second edition. Professors who wrote the book (and assigned it) can afford the cost of living in the Boston area. The guy who scans the barcodes at the bookstore stays employed!
People say, “But textbooks are a scam!” Yes. And so is printing money, and yet we still do it. Besides, buying textbooks has never been about the information. It’s about the performance of learning. So, if you’re thinking about skipping the bookstore this semester and saving money, don’t. Join me. Buy the book. Place it proudly on your desk next to your calendar that won’t get updated for months. Never read it. That’s not failure. That’s tradition. God bless Tufts, God bless capitalism, and God bless my $200 textbook, now serving its true purpose as a very fancy paperweight.
