GUIDES
THE ZAMBONI How-tos
Guides
Tufts for Dummies
Welcome to Brown! Ha, you wish. Welcome to Tufts! Starting college can be a difficult transition, but I’m here to help. I recognize many of you may be too young to understand some of these references, but I can hope they instill within you a healthy level of anxiety. And with that, you’re ready to…
GUIDES
Hell Week on the Hill
Welcome to Tufts! Welcome to hell! Between the humiliation and intense physical discomfort, being initiated as a first-year Jumbo can be rough. Luckily, The Zamboni’s got a few tips & tricks for getting through your Hell Week on the Hill. …
How To Not Fuck Your RA
First-year Jumbos are reckless, craving sex with anyone and everyone they can get their grubby little hands on and in. They are incorrigible, salacious, and stupid. Sex is fine and all, but this journalist warns his young readers to stay…
How to Know if You’ve Been J.P. Licked
Have you ever woken up in the shadows of Davis Square, unsure of how you got there? Ever salivated over the prospect of making tongue-to-skin contact with the person closest to you? Well, we at the Zamboni believe that you…
Zam Polling™ the 2024 Election
ABSTRACT The polling division of the Zamboni surveyed the Tufts student body on who they intended to vote for in the 2024 presidential election and, crucially, how much money it would take to make them vote for the other candidate.…
