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The Zamboni | Tufts University

The Zamboni | Tufts University

Cowering Behind the First Amendment Since 1989

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Author Archives: Sam Braithwaite

Sam is The Zamboni’s chief copy editor, though he has grander aspirations in the fields of soup and weapons manufacturing.

Posted inNEWS

“You’re Finally a Woman,”

by Sam Braithwaite September 6, 2025September 3, 2025

Now, no more than an hour later, standing on President’s Lawn, Jessica caressed a lit cigarette between her lips, tasting from the haze of smoke that lingered around her mouth. In her free hand, Jessica hefted the red gasoline container to her hip, taking a moment to gaze into the remainder of dusk, the fast […]

Posted inNEWS

Settlers of Catan Introduces New Indigenous Expansion Pack

by Sam Braithwaite May 5, 2025May 2, 2025
Posted inNEWS

Tufts Wrestling Entertainment World Heavyweight Championship Match Ends In Chaos

by Sam Braithwaite May 3, 2025May 2, 2025
Posted inNEWS

Mother Only One To See Through Daughter-in-Law’s Cult of Personality

by Sam Braithwaite May 1, 2025
Posted inNEWS

Naggy Nancy the Library Shusher Back At It Again: Gunshots “Too Loud”

by Sam Braithwaite May 1, 2025May 1, 2025
Posted inNEWS

Anorexic Turkey Not Looking Forward to Being Stuffed this Thanksgiving

by Sam Braithwaite November 26, 2024March 12, 2025
Posted inNEWS

Dog DTD Claimed To Have Adopted Turns Out To Be 65 Year Old Cleaning Lady

by Sam Braithwaite November 2, 2024November 26, 2024
Posted inGUIDES

Thinking About Stealing From the Dining Halls? Think Again: Dining Workers’ Burn Book Tells All

by Sam Braithwaite July 20, 2024February 15, 2025
Posted inNEWS

Top Sidechat Users Are Good at Masturbating Alone in Dark Room, Study Finds

by Sam Braithwaite July 19, 2024August 8, 2024
Posted inNEWS

Attendees Disappointed After Religion Department Magic Show Turns Out to Be Chemistry Lab

by Sam Braithwaite July 19, 2024July 22, 2024

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